So much of what we hear about today is gloom and doom. I decided to create a blog where I and others can come for a little bit of happiness and maybe even laughter...it truly can be the best medicine. I hope these entries share a smile or two. Enjoy!

Friday, April 9, 2010

Hemroid Humor

First, a warning: do not read on if you do not like undelicate conversations.
I'm to a point in my life that not much phases me and I'll talk about most things in my life, especially if it will help someone. This story is because you might enjoy a laugh. Okay, lately a dear friend and a family member have been dealing with hemroids. If you do not have them or know what they are, kiss the ground you walk on. Yes, there are worse things, but these can be a pain in the butt, pun intended. I know this because I have had hemroids since I was a teenager. I've even had them surgically removed years ago. Two days after the surgery, they were back. The greatest physical pain I ever had was poopin the day after that surgery. I didn't think I could take it. I was swearing at the doctor for not giving me stool softeners earlier and praying for help all in the same breath. I decided I would die from the pain, but then I saw the picture of me pitching over off the toilet, hitting my head on the tub, and being found with my pants down, with the lingering question being "What killed her? The hit to the head or going poo?" Can you imagine the obituary? Maybe that's why so many obituaries don't state the cause of death. Just saying. ;-)

4 comments:

VJBlair said...

You are so funny! This sounds like a conversation I would have with Andrea. We are so frank with each other, plus we both have had the above stated problem. I love that you can laugh at it.

ABranch said...

Brilliant post! Just brilliant! LOL!

Maghann said...

I kiss the ground I walk on!!! I don't ever want to go through that!

Stizz said...

Thank you for not dying on the toilet...I wouldn't want to have to dance around the question of "How did she die"...though it'd make a memorable story that none would forget. :) YOUCH!